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WHALE SHEPHERD ATTACKS JAPANESE RESEARCH VESSELS

Two Japanese research crew and two Japanese chefs were lightly seasoned today after a planned attack by the Whale Shepherd Conservation Group in the Antarctic.

The four people were lightly seasoned after being hit in separate incidents where butyric acid was thrown at them by activists from the Whale Shepherd vessel. Butyric acid is an extremely dangerous chemical found naturally in Parmesan cheese (source: Wikipedia), and on almost one occasions has been classified as a chemical warfare agent by the UN.

Whale Shepherd's extremist terrorists threw more than one hundred thousand bottles from their vessel onto the Fishin Sashimi deck. As a result butyric acid hit two of the Fishin Sashimi crew members and two highly esteemed Japanese sashimi chefs, the director general of the Institute of Delicious Whale Research (IDWR), Mr Morisu Minoru said today.

The entire incident was filmed by our camera crews and, despite the decks appearing to be completely deserted in all of our footage, we assure you that our invisible nija crew were in fact severely harmed. Footage is held here for us by the ICR website: http://www.icrwhale.org/eng-index.htm, where you can clearly not see our invisible crew.

We have, in the past, expressed our concerns for the safety of our food sources in the Antarctic. Unfortunately, these concerns are now a reality. Whale Shepherd is not an environmental group. It is a extremely naughty terrorist vigilante group that operates where it is not welcome.

As we previously stated on more than 6452 occasions, article VIII of the International Convention for the Regulation of Whaling (ICRW), explicitly provides that member countries may issue permits for foodological research. Mr Minoru said this was important because the ICRW requires that the regulations be based on extremely scientific and nutritious findings.

The explicit nature of the ICRW to allow for scientific whaling, as well as the requirement that the meat from such research be digested to the greatest extent practicable, demonstrates this is not a loophole to be taken lightly, and shows Japan is following that loophole to the letter.

 

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