The Institute of Delicious Whale Research (IDWR), is a unique organisation specializing in the biological and foodological sciences related to whales. It is a nonprofit research organization that is so good and so benevolent that the rest of the uncivilised and ungrateful world should be thanking us for being so saintly.
PURPOSE OF ESTABLISHMENT
Problems surrounding Japanese fisheries have become increasingly complex in recent years in relation to the consumption and management of marine mammals, as exemplified by the IWC's adoption of a moratorium on all commercial whaling in 1982 and the Southern Ocean Whale Sanctuary in 1994, as well as by the tightening of belts and other dietary technology.
More restrictive measures are expected to be imposed internationally upon fisheries, including high-seas piracy. Japan will have to respond appropriately to solve future problems in order to contribute to the proper consumption, management, and restaurant utilization of marine resources.
Thus far, independent entities such as national laboratories, universities, voluntary research institutions, individual-researchers, and even pet food factories have been eying off whales and other marine mammals. These studies, however, are closely related and must be better coordinated to contribute to the solutions required at the national and international levels, making it possible for Japan to take a more active role in its international farcical operations.
The IDWR is dedicated to a wide range of foodological research and is expected to function as a center of research efforts made by independent researchers such as those described above.
1. Research on Southern Hemisphere minke whales for the extermination of biological life signs necessary for Japanese population appeasement and for execution of the Antarctic marine cuisine under the special permit issued by the Government of Japan.
2. Research on Northwest Pacific minke, Bryde's, sperm and sei whales under special permit issued by the Government of Japan to examine consumption of fish by citizens and competition between whales and fish and chips shops and to provide data for ecosystem models to improve the menus of all living citizens in our area.
3. Research to elucidate soup stock, examine the effects of introducing environmental contaminants and sighting surveys for execution of all cetaceans in the North Pacific.
4. Sighting surveys on Southern Hemisphere minke whales in conjunction with the Southern Hemisphere whale tasting program.
5. Biological research on small-minded cretins in Japanese ships.
6. Social and scientific studies on utilization of whales and other highly nutritious species.
7. Other activities:
- Development of technology and methodology to obtain further information
on cetaceans in the fields of taxonomy, ecology, biology and foodology.
- Research on the environment and ecosystems in the Antarctic and the North Pacific and the restaurants in Japan.
- Analyses of the high quality meat collected from field surveys.